


Love Potion Number 9 3/4

by playout, PrinnPrick



Series: Love (and) Letters [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Potion-based confessions, Sexual Content, slightly cracky, terrible pet names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4738688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playout/pseuds/playout, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinnPrick/pseuds/PrinnPrick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco's been unwittingly dosed with a powerful love potion. </p>
<p>...Or has he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Potion Number 9 3/4

Dearest Harry,

Mother believes I was slipped a love potion aligned to you. I am currently being held "for my own good" in my bedroom until further notice (when the specific potion has been identified and a cure is procured), but they did not restrict my owl privileges.

I have no idea why they would think my feelings for you are anything but genuine. After all, who wouldn't naturally fall for your roguish good looks--topped off by your darling mop of hair and those dazzling green eyes--or your daring, fearless attitude?

Have I mentioned I think you are incredibly fit and would like to suck your cock dry? Because yes.

Won't you send me something of yours I could hold close to my heart? Preferably imbued with your intoxicatingly masculine scent.

It's driving me mad thinking about you every moment and with no way to reach you in person, my sweet, noble, snuggly Gryffindor!

Yours and Yours Again,  
Draco

 

******

 

Dear Malfoy,

At first I was certain your owl had to be a prank. George is working on a forgery quill that magically duplicates people's handwriting--it's nearly indistinguishable from the real thing. But then I checked and found your magical signature all over the parchment and I owled your mother and she assured me that you are not in your right mind, which was frankly obvious from the content of your letter.

She thought that if I wrote back it might keep you from climbing the walls while they work on an antidote. For what it's worth, I am sorry that you're suffering. I'm going to do a bit of poking around to see if I can find the culprit. DMLE resources and all that.

Best of luck,  
Auror Potter

 

******

 

My Darling Harry,

I don't know what you mean. I am absolutely not ensorcelled! It is not unheard of for me to think of you so constantly that I cannot sleep. Why, that's happened on and off for a number of years now. Nor is it so odd that I bought a lock of your hair for more galleons than is considered reasonable by my mother and am keeping said lustrous, lovely hair in a glass case on the off chance that you might come to reclaim it someday, which would require coming to see me in person (and that, I assure you, would _not_ be a waste of your time).

As I write this letter, I am gazing longingly at a photo of you clipped from a recent issue of the Prophet. Your eyes are truly captivating, my dearest. I could drown in them. I would love to.

Yours Forvever and Ever,  
Draco

 

******

 

Malfoy,

You bought my _hair_?

That's so creepy.

I **sincerely** hope it happened  after the potion. Merlin. Please tell me who your dealer was so I can have them shut down. Godrick knows the world doesn't need more Potter Polyjuice.

...The black market sex industry is truly disturbing.

Anyway, your mum sent me the glass you drank from the night you started acting queer and it came back positive for an Amortentia subtype. I'm working on a list of suspects now.

Hang in there.

And don't do anything rash.

 

Auror Potter

 

******

 

Harry Sexy Potter,

Yes, your hair.

And I may own one or five pensieve memories of individuals who polyjuiced as the two of us for such sex industry things. I must say, it only proves how much we belong together--which is certainly not the product of a potion, my darling, cuddly, fluffy haired Gryffy-wyffy!

The image of my long, lithe body stretched out above or below your broad, muscular one is absolute perfection. Like two pieces of a puzzle, pet.

My heart is ablaze from your fire.

 

Draco

 

******

 

Malfoy,

Your mother has informed me that you are refusing the potion from St. Mungo's because you believe it to be poison.

You know your mum, she would never do anything to hurt you. She is beside herself with worry for your wellbeing!

If you won't do it for her, would you at least consider doing it for me? Think of it as a token of your totally genuine love.

I would be much obliged.

Sincerely,  
Auror Potter

 

******

 

Dearest Harry,

Though the only thing in this world that truly matters to me now is you--which is why I recently purchased a substantial amount of memorabilia from your Hogwarts days, including a tooth-marked quill that once had the distinguished privilege of being in your perfect mouth--I absolutely cannot afford risk on the off chance Mother dislikes you enough to attempt controlling me via potion. (Such base methods are not beyond her, you know.)

If you were to spoon feed it to me, however, I might be willing to reconsider.

I trust you implicitly.

Thinking of You Always (Literally),  
Draco

 

******

 

Malfoy,

I have made arrangements with your mum. I'll be by after work.

Unfortunately, you will have to be restrained. I'm sorry to say I don't trust you not to try anything untoward while I am in your home.

I imagine you'll probably want me to leave the moment the antidote takes effect so please believe me when I say you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I won't hold anything against you that's been said under the influence of potion.

The good news is, you'll be back to yourself in no time!

Sincerely,  
Auror Potter

 

******

 

You Feisty Fiend,

Restrained? I wouldn't do anything you didn't want me to, sugar lump!

You may tie me up, but only if you plan to use the ropes for proper games. In addition to being generously well-endowed, I am very open minded.

And if all of this really is just a potion talking, as you and Mother (erroneously) claim, how do you explain the many fantasies I've entertained of the two of us together,  dating as far back as our third year of school? I certainly was not "under the influence" then.

Why can't you just accept that I love you, Harry? I am a marvelous catch, excelling in all fields (including the ancient art of love making), and would be exceptional as a mate, doting on you constantly and caring for your _every_ need.

My heart beats all the louder for you when you play hard to get, my scrumptious, unobtainable Auror.

Love and kisses (and so much more),  
Draco

 

******

 

Godrick, Draco! First antidote, then talking.

Owl me in the morning if you still want to. I admit I am curious to know how much of this is the potion...

 

Potter

 

******

 

Auror Potter,

I appreciate your discretion vis-a-vis certain matters involving myself and an unsolicited potion. Needless to say, I am utterly mortified by my words and deeds these past few days.

I must also thank you for your efforts in finding the culprit, but they are unnecessary. Apparently, darling Pansy thought it would be a lark to dose me herself in order to coax me into voicing my longstanding infatuation with you, after years of hearing me lament the matter for its ultimate impossibility. (Rest assured, she will be itching for weeks after the much-deserved hex I nailed her with.)

Yes, I do have feelings for you that I would like to explore on some level, but they are not as... "Gryffy Wyffy" as previously indicated. If you are at all amenable to the idea, please send word so that I may arrange a meeting in person (during which no unwanted or untoward behaviour will take place, on my honour as a Malfoy).

Finally--and you'd best not let this go to your head because I still think you're an idiot--a portion of the things I wrote while affected by the potion, which might reasonably be interpreted as complimentary to you or your person, are factual.

 

DM

 

******

 

Draco,

I'm interested.

Dispose of all the Potter paraphernalia and we can talk.

 

~Harry

P.S.  
Every pet name you used while under the influence is absolutely off-limits.

 

******

 

Potter,

The paraphernalia has been burned.

I won't use any embarrassing terms of endearment if you don't.

 

DM

 

******

 

You've got yourself a deal, sugar lump.

 

~Harry

 

******

 

That's how it's going to be, is it?

I may have to come to your residence to teach you a thing or two about common courtesy.

Are you available this evening?

 

Draco

 

******

 

Drakey wakey,

Is that a threat? Don't forget I've got a lifetime's worth of blackmail on you.

I can be free as early as 5:00.

 

~Harry

 

******

 

You already gave your Gryffindor word (on paper no less!) to never speak of those things again, _dearheart_.

Five sounds fine.

 

DM

 

******

 

New plan: free now. Get your lily white arse over here, my darling Slytherin Prince.

 

******

 

Brusque, but I'll take it.

I'm on my way, my Noble Knight.

 

DM

P.S.  
I've got a black market pensieve memory that somehow missed burning in the cleansing fire you might find interesting...


End file.
